Coercive management UK: Husband who informed his spouse of 17 years to decorate ‘extra like a girl’ is acquitted

A husband who was accused of home abuse after he requested his spouse to decorate ‘extra like a girl’ has been cleared of wrongdoing after arguing he was solely calling her out over her scruffy clothes.

Paul Marsden, 55, was charged with controlling and coercive behaviour after he berated partner of 17 years Lesley for carrying tatty leggings, denims and T shirts.

Throughout their stormy marriage Marsden informed his spouse she had fats legs and requested her to put on skirts and take extra pleasure in her look. 

Wheelchair-bound Marsden, who suffers from osteoporosis and arthritis, confronted as much as 5 years jail if convicted however was discovered not responsible at Manchester Magistrates Courtroom.

Paul Marsden (pictured), 55, was charged with controlling and coercive behaviour after he berated partner of 17 years Lesley for carrying tatty leggings, denims and T shirts

Mrs Marsden has now moved in along with her greatest buddy and has not spoken to her husband since June 2020.

The courtroom heard the couple, from Rochdale, Manchester, married in 2004, had two kids collectively and lived with Marsden’s mother and father Paul snr and Elaine. 

However Mrs Marsden, additionally in her 50s, claimed the wedding started to deteriorate in 2016 after he refused to let her have contact along with her two kids from a earlier relationship.

She mentioned: ‘I had a superb relationship with them however they didn’t take to each other with Paul. My eldest daughter was at all times arguing with him and my son solely stayed now and again. 

‘I requested him if I may see my kids on the weekend, however he would say no and he used to test the telephone to see who I had been talking to.’

Mrs Marsden mentioned her husband would accuse her of dishonest on him, name her an unfit mom and accuse her of at all times staying in mattress. She mentioned: ‘It made me really feel horrible and scared.’

She mentioned she used to cook dinner for her husband, his mother and father and their two kids but when he didn’t prefer it he would throw the meals within the bin.

And at any time when she went out to the outlets she needed to give him a kiss or face his wrath, the courtroom heard. 

‘He would say, “are you not giving me a kiss” and he would say it in a nasty approach. I might by no means have cheated on him,’ she mentioned.

‘I used to put on denims a T-Shirt and a jumper however he would say “that you must begin dressing extra like a girl”. He needed me to put on skirts, however I didn’t like carrying them. I didn’t need to dress or exit. I simply felt ashamed of myself.’

She mentioned her tooth had been corroding so she had dentures and her husband would power her to put on them. ‘I couldn’t eat with my unique dentures,’ she added. ‘They had been at all times sore. He picked my new ones up and threatened to place them in my mouth. I cooked no matter he needed and what he didn’t need he threw it away.’

And he or she accused her husband of not giving her sufficient cash. ‘He stored me wanting cash, he gave me £30 each fortnight and stored the remainder of his cash in his pocket to purchase beer and pay board to his mum and pop,’ she mentioned. ‘I simply needed to open my very own checking account.’   

Marsden's mother Elaine said she 'felt embarrassed' by the way her daughter-in-law dressed. Pictured, Manchester Magistrates' Court

Marsden’s mom Elaine mentioned she ‘felt embarrassed’ by the way in which her daughter-in-law dressed. Pictured, Manchester Magistrates’ Courtroom

Prosecutor Helena Williams informed the courtroom Marsden wouldn’t let his spouse depart the home and had final management over her life.

Ms Williams mentioned: ‘Paul managed the place she was going and what she was doing. He would say “You aren’t going out, that you must take care of me”.

‘On one event, she went to the native store with Paul’s son and when Paul discovered, he accused her of getting an affair. He would say, “You don’t love me” if she didn’t give him a kiss.’

However Marsden denied the allegations, telling the listening to his spouse had both lied or exaggerated her expertise.

He mentioned: ‘Her clothes had holes in it and he or she simply wore leggings. I used to be being sarcastic after I mentioned she ought to gown extra like a girl and I used to be being sarcastic after I informed Lesley that her legs appeared fats.

‘Her tooth had been rotten into her gums and I needed her to get dentures for her personal hygiene. I by no means mentioned I do not need individuals pondering my spouse doesn’t take care of her tooth.’

‘The cash simply got here into my financial institution however I didn’t know the pin quantity and I simply let her do every thing. I by no means restricted her entry to the checking account. She obtained cash each single break day me.’

His mom Elaine Marsden mentioned she ‘felt embarrassed’ by the way in which her daughter-in-law dressed.

She added: ‘She at all times had holes in her leggings, it was like she didn’t care. Paul requested her to put on some respectable denims or skirts as a result of he needed her to take pleasure in herself. She didn’t look very good with holes in her garments and he or she would even put on his garments.’

She mentioned her son gave his spouse his card so she may get cash from the financial institution each two weeks.  ‘I’ve heard him say “how a lot would you like?” and that was sufficient for what she needed.’

Acquitting Marsden, chair of the bench Dr Ahsan Saleem mentioned: ‘There was proof of coercive behaviour however insignificant proof to show there was concern of violence within the day-to-day actions with Mrs Marsden.

‘Due to this fact we can not make certain that you engaged in controlling or abusive behaviour. 

‘There was no makes an attempt to contact Mrs Marsden since June and due to the time span because the final contact we don’t really feel it’s essential to impose a restraining order.’ 

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